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Dean Scott Brown’s passionate vendetta against bowling exposed
Squiggly Liver Nostalgic Bowler Several interviews have recently surfaced revealing that Dean of Students Scott Brown decided to remove Scot Lanes over his bitterness for losing his own high school bowling championship. Brown’s true motivations first came to light in an interview with the construction worker in charge of overseeing the Lowry basement renovations. The…
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Obituaries
Scot Lanes The last pin was to fall one day. Scot Lanes was to be ripped off from the Wooster map, its alleys torn apart, to make way for the capitalist venture of modification. In its final days, with the $1 cover lifted as it breathed its last, scores of students gathered each evening to…
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McGaw Chapel flies back to mother planet
Brick Stone Truth Seeker Wooster students returning from Spring Break were surprised to discover McGaw Chapel had began its return voyage to its mother planet, Presbyteria. Many had previously noted McGaw’s peculiar architectural features, often jokingly saying that it looked more like a spaceship than a chapel. Only a select few in the physics department…
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Beall Avenue closed, replaced with water slide for students
The success of the Beall Ave. water slide inspired a mock-up of one at Kauke Arch (Photo by Pedro Oilbinoni). Flaky Rings Still Obsessed With Golf After extensive construction work over break, Beall Ave. has been closed from Bornhuetter Hall to Gault Schoolhouse and has been replaced by a water slide. According to Dean of…
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Voice editors propose weekly riots
Squiggly Liver Another Humanities Major injustices. I’m sure we’ll think of something,” Liver said. The Spew-points Editors are also supportive of the idea of weekly protests. “Hey, if people are protesting, that probably means they’re mad, and it probably means they have something to say, whether in favor of or against the protest,” said Careless…
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Beall Ave. cameras uncover secret squirrel cult
“Woominati” squirrels reportedly planning revolution after the death of one of their kin in transformer accident last semester Macaroon Corkscrew “I Want Coffee” Security and Protective Services (SPS) installed multiple security cameras on Beall Avenue over spring break as an attempt to prevent harassment and other incidents on the road. The installation was revealed late…
