Eric Moizuk
All you kids out there don’t know what you have these days. You don’t know how to appreciate the amazing things you have access to that the rest of the world might not. Over fall break, I spent a day and a half at my mom’s new house in Hinckley Township. It’s about 40 minutes north of Wooster, and there was no Internet.
While I did enjoy this quality time with my mother and our dog, Taco, I did not enjoy the time spent the next morning, when I was trying to occupy myself on that day without classes by attempting to tackle a pile of work (without the Internet). So I ended up writing a paper for my religion class. It only took about 20 minutes. Also I wrote this viewpoint. It only took about 15 more.
But you kids these days really don’t know what it’s like. Here is my challenge for all of you: some Friday, get really drunk and take a crowbar to the back of your laptop. Pull out the wireless card, and enjoy! See what happens. Sure, you may have voided your warranty, (eliminating any chance of repair for this problem or others), removed your Internet capabilities forever, and probably concerned everyone around you about the state of your mental being, but you would know what my life was. You will experience what my Saturday morning was like: waking up, pulling out your laptop, opening it up, going to check Facebook because ‘what else do I have to do?’ and then realizing that there is no Internet. It’s awful. But then I got to help my mom take out a wall in between two of the bedrooms, so that was actually pretty cool.
Whenever you’re working on a paper and think it’s really hard to focus, or you just don’t have any inspiration, or you are bored so you go and check Facebook for a little bit to get that energy level back up, but then after looking at pictures of your friend from sophomore year who you haven’t talked to since before last summer, just cherish the fact that you have the Internet, you jerk. And don’t blame your procrastination on the Internet or the institution for not properly preparing you for long papers or your I.S.; blame it on yourself for having such horrible study habits and being an awful human being. Screw you; I hope you get hit by a car for not pressing the new crosswalk button outside of Lowry.