For a long time, I have considered myself to be a fairly happy person.† I don’t hold many grudges, I detest bullying and meanness and I hope to smile more than I frown.† Try as I might, though, there are three things that truly get my goat: Brad Childress, the Dilbert cartoons and the penny.
Recent studies have shown that a penny ó worth one cent ó costs 1.2 cents to make, manufacture and ship across the country. In 2007, the U.S. Mint managed to create over seven billion pennies. Think of the loss that the Mint took on that! Politicians recently have been clamoring about reducing the deficit. Eliminating the penny could save us significant sums of money.
I’m aware of the ramifications of this type of decision. We would have to trash those penny-pressing machines that churn out a mediocre souvenir. We’d lose the expression “a penny for your thoughts,” and that’s basically it. †Let’s just round to the nearest nickel ó it won’t be too complicated.
This is no disrespect to good ole’ honest Abe. I love Abraham Lincoln. I visit his monument at least once a year. I’m not sure what made me realize how irritating the penny was; perhaps it was those science experiments in elementary school that made you realize how bad soda was for teeth. Looking at the shiny penny emerging from the lagoon of coke might’ve set me off.
The penny might have been useful many years ago, when my grandfather used to buy candy bars for three cents, but the U.S. economy has inflated to the point that the penny is hardly useful anymore. The government realized this with the half-dollar, now they must do so here. It used to be nice for the luck it brings when you pick it up ó heads up, mind you ó from the street, but millions of pennies are† littered across the streets of the U.S. and even homeless people don’t even bother to pick them up anymore. That’s how pointless the penny has become; those in need of money, so much so that they can’t afford a roof over their heads, refuse to lower themselves to that.
I’m tired of seeing hundreds of pennies covering the campus. This isn’t Charlie and the Chocolate Factory anymore ó you can’t just find a few nickels on the street and buy a chocolate bar. You need to find a hundred pennies to get just one dollar ó and even dollar stores across the country are starting to charge more than a dollar for many of their products. A double cheeseburger at McDonald’s will cost you twenty-nine cents more! For continuity’s sake, too, we should get rid of the penny. Without it, all of our bills are green and all of our coins are silver. It’s clear that the time has come to cast aside the penny ó it’s just common cents.
Ramsey Kincannon is a regular contributor for the Voice. He can be reached for comment at RKincannon12@wooster.edu.