A couple summers ago, my little brother and I went backpacking together in Virginia. One night, we stayed at a shelter with a middle aged couple and an older man who was a Navy veteran. As the evening progressed, we all started talking and eventually the discussion turned political.
Rather predictably, our neighbors for the evening (who were all older, white and from the rural south) expressed distaste for millennials and the oversensitive liberal elite, and support for then-presidential candidate Donald J. Trump, who had only just launched his campaign.
Both my brother and I are fairly liberal, argumentative people, and my younger brother immediately began to engage with our neighbors in an aggressive, combative way.
When you know beyond a doubt that you are right and the other person is wrong, it is deeply tempting to look at every argument as a fight that needs to be won.
That mentality, while satisfying in the moment, is ultimately small-minded and counterproductive.
In the most recent presidential election, 48.2 percent of voters cast ballots for Hillary Clinton and 46.1 percent voted for Donald Trump.
Our country is politically polarized, and we consume news steeped in whatever political rhetoric appeals to us: the alt-right flocks to Brietbart, while liberals nursing their wounds have retreated to alternative Twitter accounts which may well feel vindicating, but are not changing anyone’s mind — nobody follows an alternative Twitter account unless they already agree with the content it tweets.
And that’s the thing. The only way forward is to change each other’s minds, and that can only happen if we engage in civil discourse with an eye not on scoring points, but on really understanding the other person’s perspective.
Right now we see one another as the enemy and we have retreated into self-created cocoons. We spend time with and consume media from those who think like us. We have discussions where we simply agree with one another more and more vehemently and congratulate each other for being smarter and better than those that disagree with us.
Those things feel good, but they are a tragic waste of everyone’s time and energy.
Go talk to people you disagree with, and I don’t mean talk as in “aggressively argue with them in a way that is so unpleasant that you confirm all their worst beliefs about people of your political affiliation.”
I mean that when you have conversations with people who are not like you (which you should do as often as possible), you should attempt to really understand their point of view, and then respectfully communicate yours and discuss points where you differ.
Since you’re both human, chances are you’re both at least a little biased.
I will be the first to admit that these kinds of conversations aren’t always satisfying. You don’t get to walk away feeling like you’ve gotten more points on the scoreboard, or that you’ve successfully humiliated the other person with your superior logic and intellect.
But scoring points is never going to mean anything unless you actually change that person’s mind, and the only way that you’re ever going to do that is to shut up for a moment and listen to them.
Mariah Joyce, an Editor in Chief for the Voice, can be reached for comment at MJoyce17@wooster.edu