As a lifelong resident of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I have lived the good life, in regards to the sporting world, over the past decade. Pay no attention to what ESPN may tell you about some insignificant southern high school football village – Boston is the true title town. Although for the team that founded my fair city in its recent winning ways, the fall of 2008 is looking the bleakest it has in nearly a decade.
The injury to our perennial All-Pro quarterback, Tom Brady, has caused the New England Patriots hometown of Foxborough, Mass. to bear a better resemblance to Muddville rather than the pigskin Mecca it has come to be considered. Now with a visit to this year’s Super Bowl in Tampa Bay being nothing more than a Kevin Faulk pipe dream, I exert the entirety of my football attention on doing one of the things that New Englanders do best: maliciously hating on other sports teams.
With the standings in the AL East showing the Yankees’ Evil Empire all but removed from playoff contention, refocusing my fallen-Brady-rage on such an organization would be futile. Rather, I have decided to center my enraged attention on a team that, over the past four years, I have grown to loathe nearly as much as our rivals from the Bronx. As this particular team has a rather crucial game to play versus the indomitable Trojans of USC this upcoming Saturday, I find it only appropriate to vent my frustration of the Patriots losing currently the best player in the NFL by explaining what can only be considered as an eventual wasted effort on behalf of Ohio’s supreme athletic royalty – the Ohio State Buckeyes.
Let me please begin by stating what is incredibly apparent to us esteemed college football fans whom have not endured a lifetime of being force fed from the Scarlet and Gray propaganda machine – Ohio State is nothing without running back Chris “Beanie” Wells on the field. The nation watched this past weekend, as the precious Buckeyes were forced to rely on a late surge of desperation to overcome a Mid-American Conference team, who last season finished behind the University of Buffalo in the conference standings. The Buckeyes’ offense was so anemic that the Ohio University defense was able to hold the Buckeyes to fewer passing yards than the University of Wyoming accumulated against the Bobcats the previous week. That has to sting just a little bit.
Compare the offensive numbers of Ohio State without Beanie Wells to those of the fully staffed, well rested Trojans and you will notice that this season, USC has amassed triple the passing yards and 25 percent more rushing yards than Ohio State. These statistics also fail to take into account that the Trojans recorded these numbers three time zones away from the comforts of their sunny Southern Californian abode, in front of over 61,000 screaming Wahoos at the University of Virginia’s Scott Stadium.
If USC is able to put up those numbers on the road, think of the scoring potential the Trojans have against the visiting, weakened Buckeyes at their home stadium, a place where USC is 36-2 since the 2002 season.
Ohio State fans, please don’t fret about the outcome of this Saturday’s game. Feel free to just keep in mind that you still have one of the best and most prestigious marching bands in the country.
Have fun dotting the I.