Kamal Morgan
Contributing Writer
It has been about seven years since I last listened to anything by Mac Miller: not his music, not his interviews or anything else. My last memories of him were the Frick Market, Donald Trump and Kool and Pizza songs that helped propel him to stardom. Even when he released his album “Swimming” in 2018 and died a month afterwards, I still hesitated to turn on a song and hear his voice one more time. Then last Friday his posthumous album, “Circles,” was released. I felt it would be an injustice not to listen to this man one more time to see where his music would carry me for one last go-around.
The intro song, “Circles,” was itself a beautiful introduction to a man who knew his time on earth was shrinking. The first bar Mac starts singing, “Well, this is what it look like right before you fall,” foreshadows his death and how he has tried his best to change but always ends up back where he started. Even the next track, “Complicated,” deals with his mental health where he explains “Some people say they want to live forever / That’s way too long, I’ll just get through today.” Mac deals with constant battles of depression in his life where he must worry about the moment at hand because a tomorrow may not be his future. He is becoming so stressed out about his mental health that it causes him to feel old and worn out as he ends each chorus: “I’m way too young to be gettin’ old.”
His album is a farewell tour of emotions that starts with him foreshadowing his death to him detailing his obstacles of daily struggles. Every time he reaches a high in life, everything crumbles in his eyes because of his mistakes. Mac explains in “Hands Me Downs”: “I made it, but I hate once I build it I break it down.” It tortures him because every time he feels life is good, his mental health knocks him back down. Even with the knock downs and daily tribulations, Mac still stands tall with hope. In “Surf,” he declares “Before it’s all over, I promise we’ll figure it out.” He knows that his pain and his current feelings will not linger for all his life, that he will find a way to overcome his demons and find solace as he continues: “I know somewhere there’s home / I’m startin’ to see that all I have to do is get up and go.” Home is tranquility, a site of freedom and nurturing where everyone feels secure and the most authentic version of themselves. Mac knows he must find his home, he must find his peace and once he does, life will be much better as he ends the track: “There’s water in the flowers, let’s grow.” There is always room for improvement. If there is a chance at growth then we must take hold of it and blossom into the best version of ourselves.
“Circles” is a poignant and inspiring album of an artist’s struggle with finding stability in his life. Mac Miller wanted the world to know he was swimming in circles and he wanted to bring you on the ride with him.