Ain’t got no time for Money Manziel or Hoyer Haters


Ben Taylor

Ever since the school switched to digital cable, my circa 1992 TV/VCR combo (which I brought this year almost exclusively to watch sports, especially the Cavs) has not worked. Thus, I’m a bit out of the loop with the sports world.

What I did see this weekend was the Browns’ game. Good heavens. What an awful, awful game. We couldn’t run; we couldn’t pass; we had trouble defending. None of that was good. The 0-6 Jacksonville Jaguars are now 1-6 thanks to the estimable Cleveland Browns.

The crazy thing is, although we’re at the bottom of our division after this week, hope springs eternal in the Cleveland sports world. This is in large part because we’ve already nearly equaled our number of wins last season. In fact, since 1999 when the Browns returned to Cleveland, the team has had only three seasons — 2001, 2002 and (the highly improbable) 2007 — when Cleveland has won more than six games. In other words, we’re (rather sadly) having one of our best seasons in recent memory.

Part of this difference is thanks to Brian Hoyer. While certainly no Brady Quinn, Brandon Weeden or Colt McCoy, Hoyer is having a decent season (by Browns standards at least). He has a 7:2 touchdown ratio, and his passer rating puts him above Andy Dalton (who is unfortunately on my fantasy team), Alex Smith and Ryan Fitzpatrick (my fantasy backup), among others. The real lesson here is not to pick 10th in a 16-team league. Overall, he’s having a pretty decent season.

As with all good stories, though, there’s a problem. What are we going to do with Johnny Football? He’s unproven in the NFL, but he looked decent in the preseason. We don’t know for sure if he’ll be any good, but it looks like there’s a shot that he will be. Is Brian Hoyer a Denethor to Johnny’s Aragorn, or is he Clarence while Manziel is Richard III? Is Manziel the rightful heir to the Cleveland throne (which really looks a little bit more like a port-a-potty at the moment)?

Usually, the point of articles like this is to give some sort of answer to the question I’ve posed, but the truth is that I really don’t know. I’m no Nostradamus, and the College’s disappointing lack of an astrology major means I can’t learn how to predict these types of things. Instead, I’m going to tell you what I hope.

I hope that Brian Hoyer succeeds. I hope he keeps getting better, eventually leading us to a 19 wins next season (or at least over the next several seasons). And, ready for it? I hope Johnny never needs to play a single snap for the Browns.

Here’s why: Brian Hoyer is a Cleveland-style quarterback. Johnny isn’t. Hoyer isn’t flashy, but he’s tough. Johnny is probably tough, but he’s also clearly let his fame get to his head. He seems to see himself as larger than the team. Brian does not give off that impression. Hoyer’s a Cleveland boy; Johnny isn’t. As long as Hoyer is succeeding, I have no desire to see Johnny play. I only hope Hoyer can continue to improve and hold onto his starting spot in the process. If Johnny gets put in the game, I’ll certainly be rooting for him. (Of course, I’ll root for whatever Browns players are on the field — unless they sign someone like Ray Rice.) In the meantime, I’m buying into the Hoyer hype.

Long live Hometown Hoyer; lead us to victory.