It’s cool in a way: enter an airport and you are immediately surrounded by a flood of human beings from the farthest reaches of the planet, and from every walk of life.
There are the Asian family vacationers who videotape themselves walking to their gate, chattering excitedly as they go. The goth couple who stares straight ahead. The cute yet unapproachable guys who always seem to travel in packs — or with their equally adorable girlfriend in tow. The creepy men who do their best to catch your unwitting eye as you heave your suitcase past them.
Normally this would be no matter. There are weirdos everywhere, right? But once you locate your gate and board the airplane you’ll be trapped on, for however many hours, this all changes. These people you’ve passed and giggled at, or shied away from or felt vaguely sorry for? They’re about to become your closest companions, in a literal sense.
I take an average of 16 flights a year to travel from here to my overseas home, and I’ve had the unfortunate experience of being uncomfortable for at least half of these flights. I’ve been seated next to pungent old men, obese people who put the armrests up, middle-aged women intent on passing on all the wisdom of their years, and, on one unpleasant occasion, a young women with an adorable baby she let vomit on my seat when I left to use the restroom. On a school-organized trip to Europe, I was seated next to our ultra-creepy Spanish teacher who kept trying to fall asleep on my shoulder. The list goes on.
What I’m trying to say is that airplanes can be truly awkward and frustrating places. Unless you’re in a single row in one of the smaller planes, or you’re lucky enough to get bumped up to first class, there’s an awful lot of uneasiness all around.
So why not make it easier on yourself and your seatmates and follow some basic rules of public transportation?
– Shower.
– Don’t bring a ton of carry-ons.
– Save the sushi or other ethnic food items for when you get back.
– Bring some gum with you.
– If you’re going to snore, wait until your seatmates are already asleep.
– You can chat if your seatmate seems inclined, otherwise just stick to yourself.
– Don’t take your socks and shoes off and wiggle your toes around.
This is all common sense, and after all, with such a wide variety of people you never know what culture or religion you might eventually offend.