The word ìgraduation” often cues bittersweet feelings in seniors during these last few weeks of school. Empathizing while listening to friends verbalize their variety of intense emotions has been easy enough to do over the past three years; but experiencing the end of college firsthand has unexpectedly inspired a similar reaction in me ó one that is sudden, affecting and entirely foreign.
As the calendar snuck up to the end of April, my mindset alternated between denial, potent nostalgia, anxious anticipation, the rehashing of regrets, general acceptance and most often blind terror.
Eighteen-year-old Kateís abstract life plan of obtaining an undergrad degree while essentially just spending four years growing up was an exhilarating concept, full of endless possibility.
But as much as I had anticipated the independence and choice that college would have to offer during the preceding 13 years of my education, I rarely if ever gave thought to what would follow the adventure. Maybe thatís the reason for all the emotional turmoil ó fear of the unknown, of having to be an adult, of failing.
Being faced with the necessity of applying to specialized graduate school programs or ìreal” job prospects in the near future seems so final and daunting compared to my ambiguous plans up until now ó the partyís definitely over. But in a lot of ways, the trepidation of actual commencement is only a psychological thing. Itís just a ceremony and we will be the same people before and after it. There are no sudden leaps of transformation ó we have been changing gradually and will continue to do so regardless of milestones.
While we know all of this, it is still hard to let go because of the connections weíve made. Scheduling final hangout time with everyone that ever mattered to you ó the first-year roommate, your best friend, even that one guy you were inseparable from for a 2-week period in 2006 ó seem like crucial necessities.
While these last weeks can be painful, attaining this closure is also satisfying. It gives the sense that life has come full circle ó the clichÈ but reassuring thought that youíll always have the memories and the knowledge that a select few will always be in your life when you need them.
We came to college apprehensive but enthusiastic, but it all turned out okay. We had our ups and downs, but thatís life. Graduation is just the start of the next adventure ó and itís been sweet, Wooster.