Dorms are not dumps


Robin Klaus

It was 10 minutes to class time.  As I rushed out of my room, I stumbled upon a surprise…the hallway carpet that was a dull shade of green just the night before, was now unidentifiable beneath a blinding layer of glitter.  There was so much glitter, it would not have surprised me if Ke$ha had staggered out of the bathroom at that very moment. After making sure that Ke$ha was not, in fact, the cause, my first reaction was admittedly a smile (“everything’s better with glitter” is my mother’s most-used phrase). My second thought, however, was sympathy for the unfortunate custodian whose duties required her to cleanup our newly “decorated” carpet.

That evening, I heard the culprit complaining about a threat of charges about the mess. She ranted to her friend about how no one had the right to be irked, because, “What difference does it make, if the custodian is sweeping the carpet anyway?  That’s what she is paid to do!”

Now, wait just a moment. Their technical job description warrants immature inconsideration? In that case, I cannot wait to frequent the clothing store of your hypothetical employment! The tacky shirt I unfold to see the complete graphic- — it will be rolled up and stuffed to the back of the shelf. The obnoxiously massive pile of pants I try on that are too small (thanks to Lowry) — will all be left in the dressing room, and definitely not on their hangers. By your justification, it does not make a difference, because you are paid to do those things!

Clearly, delegating tedious jobs to the people working solely to make our lives easier is ungracious. The custodian already lugs overflowing trash bags out to the dumpster in hat and gloves, freezing in early morning temperatures that will get only more biting. She mops up the no-longer-appetizing remnants of pizza and Friday night alcohol splayed in the bathroom stall on Saturday mornings. Nevertheless, she greets me every morning before painful, 8 a.m. calculus with a smile and well wishes for the day.

The custodian is an angel who makes life for we textbook-scouring, lab-performing, sports-playing, essay-writing and IS-researching students slightly less demanding.  Although she and the custodial staff do attend to the cleanliness of our dormitories (it is next to godliness, you know), “sweep up glitter” and any other task spawning from a student’s thoughtless entitlement should not be a part of the job description.

Here we are, college students proudly (or obstinately) waving our ‘I’m-an-adult’ flags. We silence the Doubting Thomases with the usual justifications. We can vote, we say.  We can have our own credit cards.  We can get married. We can go to “adult” jail (yay!). We can fight and die for our country. Yet, some of us cannot refrain from showering the hallway with small, shimmery specks that take extraordinary effort to clean up? Summon some decency, folks — and find a little maturity while you are at it.

Perhaps then, the dormitory lifestyle itself erases conscious living. It is as if the college experience simply places us in an entitled environment where all our needs are catered to. We are the spoiled children of affluent households, possessing no incentive to pick up after ourselves as someone follows closely behind, doing all our dirty work. I’m not suggesting we fire our wonderful custodial staff to teach students responsibility. Instead, I implore each of us to become (or remain) responsible for the respectability of our dormitory living — alas, that does exclude glitter fests.

It is fascinating that, even as adolescents, we (most likely) did not throw glitter in our own homes.  Yet, suddenly away from the possibility of parental disdain, we find it acceptable to do so. Maybe that is the ultimate issue; the custodians are like our parents, but without the clout of familial ties. They are our mothers and fathers but cannot tell us to take our little glitter fights outside. They are our parents, but are without the perks of a thank-you kiss and a greeting card in May or June.

So be considerate, be an adult, and buy two Mother’s or Father’s Day cards this year.